How To Thrive After Divorce

DISCLAIMER: I'm not writing this article because I agree with divorce. I don't agree with divorce unless there is physical or emotional abuse involved. In some cases infidelity, but God can fix that if both people work at it. I'm writing this article because if a spouse wants a divorce then there is nothing you can do about it. Unfortunately, divorce happens.

I used to watch the show Survivor when it first premiered many years ago. I like it because watching people survive the toughest obstacles was very motivating. However, they survived but nothing happened after that. They were weaker and hungrier after the obstacle. They survived but they didn't thrive. The only person who thrived was the winner in the show...and the host.

I'm writing this post because many of us have face the obstacle of divorce and are struggling with thriving. We think to ourselves, 'if I just survive this, then I will be okay.' However God created us to thrive in our lives.

Christians don't talk about divorce like it's a bad word but it isn't. Unfortunately, divorce happens every day and no one knows what to do after. Divorce is a hard thing to go through. It is a huge obstacle that hits unexpectedly because we don't get married to get a divorce. We get married with expectations of living happily ever after but then the unhappy comes. Then divorce happens.

The divorce is heartbreaking because when two people are married, oneness takes place. It is a vow to love each other until death. Divorce causes an early death which is why it is so painful. There is no choice but to survive the pain.

But don't just stop there at surviving the pain. The survival period can last months, and maybe for some, years. If you are still just surviving, it's time to change gears and thrive.

Steps to thriving:
1. Reflect:
Don't reflect with emotion but reflect with logic. Reflect on what happened to get the lesson from it.

2. Forgiveness:
No more blaming yourself or the other person. It's time to truly forgive yourself.

3. Go for it:
Do something you've never done before. When I got a divorce I wanted to get my bachelor degree, so I did. I went back to school and got it. I wasn't able to do that while I was married to my ex-husband.

4. Take care of you:
Don't drown your sorrows in sweets, as a matter of fact do the opposite. Start a plan to get healthy, get a make over and enjoy.

5. Get money:
Get your finances in order. Sometimes divorce can leave a financial hole, especially if there are kids involved. Get a budget, get out of debt and get a savings.

6. Don't be petty:
This is for those who have children involved and maybe for those who don't, but no matter what, don't be petty. Pettiness causes more drama and more stress. Less pettiness and more peace.

7. Relationship with Jesus:
You can't do the first 6 things without Jesus. He will give you the strength to not just survive but to thrive.