Don't Abuse Your Insurance

Imagine if everyone drove carelessly because of car insurance. There would be wrecks all over the place and no one would get anywhere. Imagine if no one took care of their home because they have house insurance. Most people wouldn't have the nice house they have now. Even though having wrecks all time and a broken down house is a headache to deal with, people would want the money from the insurance companies. After too many accidents and insurance claims the insurance premium will go up or the company will drop people from the coverage all together. Then it's hard to find other coverage. Instead of going through all those headaches, all the people have to do is try their best to take care of the care and house then use the insurance only when necessary. Establish a relationship with the insurance companies and they will eventually start offering grace, which saves money. The people also need to find other ways to make money instead of using the insurance for it.

The kingdom of God is the same way. Treating Jesus like He is house and car insurance is a no, no. Living any way you want then using His grace and mercy to cover you is taking advantage of His love. God knows the hearts of everyone so eventually He will leave you in your sin. Besides God can not dwell where sin dwells anyway. God does have grace for the things done accidentally or the things not known if it is wrong. But once the sin it is revealed, don't sit around and say "well I can keep doing it anyway because of God's grace and mercy." He does have grace and mercy for those who truly repent.

Don't abuse the kingdom of God just like you wouldn't abuse your car insurance. If you use your car insurance correctly there are perks like getting the premiums lowered. The perk to not abusing the grace God has given you is abundant life that Jesus came to give. He doesn't promise life to be perfect but He does promise His Comforter and Peace. 

Establish a good relationship with God in order to have that abundant life. 
1. Have a relationship by talking to Him daily. Don't just tell Him your needs but talk Him like He is your best friend. 
2. Read His Word. 
3. Join a Bible believing church that rightly divides the Word of God. Being in atmosphere of worship is like going to a pep rally for faith. 
4. Give to the Kingdom of God. Support ministries who rightly divide the Word. It will help the ministries to be able to grow and carry out the work of the Lord. 

5 Helpful Tips To Raising Millennials

When my oldest daughter was probably about nine or ten, she asked a question that startled me. The question made me feel old and made me realize the next generation is here. It dawned on me that she is being raised in a technical, social world. The question she asked me is: “what is a cassette tape?”

I felt so old, lol! Then I started thinking, she will never experience life without a cellphone, discs, iPods or computers. The world is different from when I was a child. My mom would tell me come in when the street lights came on and don’t go in anyone’s house. Besides those two rules, I was free as a bird to roam our neighborhood, walk to the corner store and just enjoy life. The temptations I dealt with were things like smoking and making out with a boy during a game of hide-go-get-it. 

These days our children have a whole lot more to deal with. They have to deal with not just bullying but cyber bullying which is bigger and worse than the bullying we grew up with. They have to deal with their sexuality, period. They don’t just deal with smoking cigarettes but other drugs kids sale as a way to get high. 

How do we protect our kids from these things with out making them feel like they live in a house with nuns? 

1. Build a foundation 

A strong foundation is hard to break. Jesus said when you build a house on a rocky foundation the house won't sink and this is how having faith in Him does our lives. Teach your children to always trust in Jesus. The best way to teach them this, is to live by example. You can't tell your kids not to do the things you're doing. It leads them to confusion and pushes them to be more inquisitive about what you are trying to keep them away from. Practice what you preach.

2. Spend quality time
There is a difference between spending time and quality time. Quality time is actually having a conversation with your children, not just being in the same room.

3. Get to know their friends
Don't always send your kids over someone else's home but allow them to invite kids into your home. When their friends are over, don't just send them to a room by themselves but find an activity to do with them.

4. Honesty
Be honest with your kids. This generation has so much access to so much information. If you don't tell them the truth, they are going to find out from somewhere. It is better for them to hear the truth from you so they will trust you and build a relationship with them. There's no more sugar coating things about topics like sex, drugs, drinking and other things they deal with. Take a deep breath and tell them straight forward.

5. Love
Last but not least, love your kids. I know this seems to be obvious but go deeper. We all have needs also know as love languages that helps us to feel loved. Our children have those needs too. Find out what fills your child/children's love tank and do it. For example, your child might need a hug every day to feel loved, well give your child a hug every day for as long as they need you too. It is better for you to do it then strangers. Another example is gift giving. It doesn't have to be a major gifts but buy their favorite snacks or food. If your child needs words of affirmation, send them text just show them how much you care. No one should be loving your children more than you, until they are ready to be married. 

I hope these tips help. No parent is perfect however, we should try to do the best we can to teach our children the way should go. God blessed us with them and the most important thing you can do to help you as a parent is to have a relationship with your heavenly Father.

How To Thrive After Divorce

DISCLAIMER: I'm not writing this article because I agree with divorce. I don't agree with divorce unless there is physical or emotional abuse involved. In some cases infidelity, but God can fix that if both people work at it. I'm writing this article because if a spouse wants a divorce then there is nothing you can do about it. Unfortunately, divorce happens.

I used to watch the show Survivor when it first premiered many years ago. I like it because watching people survive the toughest obstacles was very motivating. However, they survived but nothing happened after that. They were weaker and hungrier after the obstacle. They survived but they didn't thrive. The only person who thrived was the winner in the show...and the host.

I'm writing this post because many of us have face the obstacle of divorce and are struggling with thriving. We think to ourselves, 'if I just survive this, then I will be okay.' However God created us to thrive in our lives.

Christians don't talk about divorce like it's a bad word but it isn't. Unfortunately, divorce happens every day and no one knows what to do after. Divorce is a hard thing to go through. It is a huge obstacle that hits unexpectedly because we don't get married to get a divorce. We get married with expectations of living happily ever after but then the unhappy comes. Then divorce happens.

The divorce is heartbreaking because when two people are married, oneness takes place. It is a vow to love each other until death. Divorce causes an early death which is why it is so painful. There is no choice but to survive the pain.

But don't just stop there at surviving the pain. The survival period can last months, and maybe for some, years. If you are still just surviving, it's time to change gears and thrive.

Steps to thriving:
1. Reflect:
Don't reflect with emotion but reflect with logic. Reflect on what happened to get the lesson from it.

2. Forgiveness:
No more blaming yourself or the other person. It's time to truly forgive yourself.

3. Go for it:
Do something you've never done before. When I got a divorce I wanted to get my bachelor degree, so I did. I went back to school and got it. I wasn't able to do that while I was married to my ex-husband.

4. Take care of you:
Don't drown your sorrows in sweets, as a matter of fact do the opposite. Start a plan to get healthy, get a make over and enjoy.

5. Get money:
Get your finances in order. Sometimes divorce can leave a financial hole, especially if there are kids involved. Get a budget, get out of debt and get a savings.

6. Don't be petty:
This is for those who have children involved and maybe for those who don't, but no matter what, don't be petty. Pettiness causes more drama and more stress. Less pettiness and more peace.

7. Relationship with Jesus:
You can't do the first 6 things without Jesus. He will give you the strength to not just survive but to thrive.

#MeToo: My Story

A shift is taking place. 

It's deeper than everyone saying #metoo just because..it's deeper than everyone saying to be seen. It doesn't matter the color of your skin, your religion or anything else that makes you different from me. It doesn't matter because you and I are connected by a powerful hashtag: #metoo.

I was nine years old at slumber party. Being a nine year old little girl at a house I felt comfortable being in. I felt like every single family member in that house was my family. My friend and I were being annoying little girls to a fifteen year old boy. He was threatening us to not go into his room or he was going to do things to us while we were asleep. We didn't feel fear because we thought he wouldn't do anything to harm us. We waited until he left his room and went running in there again. He figured out we were in there because of the things that were out of place we messed with. He came to us and said okay get ready cause I'm going to mess with y'all tonight. We laughed because we knew it was only going to be something like whip cream or toothpaste on our faces. Our plan was to pretend like we were asleep but then wake up to scare him. He ended up scaring us. We laid there pretending like we were sleep when he did some sexual things to us. I felt things things I shouldn't have felt until I was married. We didn't tell anyone because we thought we were going to get in trouble. I never felt the same. I felt ashamed. I felt like that was all I was worth.

When I turned thirteen since that was planted in my head that is all I was worth. Unfortunately, I carried myself that way at school and for many years after. I led boys on so I could "fit-in". I led one boy to my house but he brought another friend. I wasn't sure how far I was going to go with the boy but when I saw he brought his friend I changed my mind altogether. They didn't change their minds. I fought as much as I could. They ended up taking my virginity with their fingers. It was painful emotionally and physically. It was traumatizing.

I didn't heal from these events until years later because I buried them, deep. It took me a while because I didn't want to deal with it. I was ashamed and felt like it was my fault. However, it was the answer to why I was making some of the other bad decisions that I made in my life. It was why I didn't have any confidence in myself and why I only saw myself as someone men wanted to have sex with. I felt like that was all I was good for. These encounters affected how I took care of myself and the choices I made in men.

It wasn't until I started to see myself how God sees me, that I began to heal. It came to the point when I tried to kill myself, waiting on the floor to die, that God showed me who I am. You don't have to attempt suicide for God to show you how He sees you. Please don't. But that was my breaking point.

Some of you are having a breaking point now by posting the #metoo. This might be the first time you are dealing with your encounter. There are many others who are still not ready to put #metoo, and that's okay. I hope that seeing others put it is encouraging you to deal with your encounter so that you can begin to heal.

Steps to healing:

1. Talk about it. 
2. Forgive:
Forgive your self and the people involved. It's easier said than done but it is possible. All things are possible through Jesus who gives us strength. Philippians 3:14.
3. Don't let what happened define you.
I chose to let Jesus define me. I stayed reading my Bible and praying. I spent time praising and worshiping Him. He is the one who created you and He is the one who can truly heal you. You don't want to be on anti-depressants for the rest of your life. You don't want to get sad or angry all the time. It's time to turn to the one who can truly heal you, Jesus.

Some of you may be saying, "I've done those three things but I'm still not healed." If this is you let me encourage you to not give up on your healing. Sometimes God requires us to press in to Him even further before He releases something to us. God's timing is perfect and His promises are true. His promises healing, therefore you will be healed. Also, examine yourself to see if you are doing something to prolong the process of you receiving your healing. For example, if you pray and ask God for healing then start to doubt your healing, then you've slowed down the process. Don't give up on your healing process. It will be worth it when you are free from dealing with the hurt your encounter has caused you. Get free.

What Do You Carry?

The lucky rabbits foot, the t-shirt that you never wash, the lucky coin. what ever thing that you that brings you "luck". What do you carry? Do you carry around unnecessary things to feel important like extra note books, extra business cards. Do you carry things because you don't know what to expect? hand sanitize, sanitary napkins, or a gun. What do you carry?

We do this spiritually. We carry anger, resentment, we carry hurt, unforgiving. We can carry love, lust, pity coveting, unhappiness, joy. worry, fear. We can carry walls because we want to keep people out. We all carry something but it is important to know what it is.

Why is it important to know what you carry?

When packing for a trip, you pack according to where you are going. For example, you don't pack to go to Alaska in the winter with a bunch of summer clothes. You don't pack a bunch of winter clothes to go to Hawaii. You know exactly what is in your bag for your journey. We have to do the same thing spiritually.

Our life is a journey and depending on where we are going, we have to know what we are carrying. Do you have hurt? Are you angry all the time? Do you feel needy? Why? Where did this stuff come from that you are carrying? You can't take your past hurts on the journey God has for you. You have to unpack those bags and fill them up with right things. Replace your hurt with forgiveness, the anger with love.

How?

The previous paragraph has some of the questions you can ask yourself. You have pinpoint where these emotions come from. Answer the who, what, why and how. The next step is to pray about the answers that these thing will no longer have the power to control you. Ask God to uproot these things from your heart, mind and soul. Ask Him to put in you a spirit of forgiveness. Ask Him to give you the strength to stand firm on your deliverance when temptation or triggers come to try to make you put hurt back in your bag.

Refill?

The next step is to fill your bag with preparing for the journey God has for you. Fill up your bag by staying in His word. Start out by reading a scripture a day and go from there. He will speak to your heart as you read. He will fill your bag for the journey day by day. My link to my book 21 Day Spiritual Diet To Know Your Purpose in paperback and in ebook to help give you a jump start on how to fill up your bag for the journey God has for you.

How To Deal With Rotten Lemons

"When life gives you lemons make lemonade." This quote is a the most used positive quote in the world. People use this saying all the time to reference that when something bad happens in your life, turn it around and make something good. As a matter of fact, a famous singer named Beyoncé called her last album Lemonade after her famous rapper husband, Jay-Z cheated on her. I'm sure it was very devastating to her but she turned her lemons into lemonade.

What happens when we are handed rotten lemons? At least with rotten bananas you can make banana bread but rotten lemons? These are the lemons that seem like it's never going to end and you have no way of making something good out of it. There is a way to get something good out of rotten lemons, through them away and get new lemons.
I have had a couple of times when I have had to through away the rotten lemons and get new ones. One example is when I got pregnant at eighteen and I was in my first semester of college. I did not get rid of my child but I did have to quit school because of starting a family at a young age. I did get new lemons by changing schools and my major. It was a new lemon because I had to figure out how to my degree while being a wife and a mom at the age of twenty one. I did make lemonade because I got my bachelor degree.

Since I'm on the subject of being a young wife, my next example of a rotten lemon is my divorce. I wouldn't say the marriage was a mistake because I had my second daughter but going through the divorce was very difficult. I was dealing with being a mom again and not feeling secure in any area of my life. I didn't know who I was and started having thoughts of suicide, until one day I finally tried it. I get rid of the rotten lemon when I decided enough is enough.

I finally agreed to move out and get a divorce. I then focused on finding myself and my purpose for my life. I eventually met my now husband whom I have been married to for thirteen years. The lemon is that our marriage hasn't been perfect but we are committed. We have also turned the lemons we experienced in this marriage to help others. My books and this blog is a result.
Another example is if you are needing physical healing, go to other doctors, change your diet, seek God for how to get rid of that rotten lemon. The hurricane Harvey is a rotten lemon but people are coming together and slowly getting new lemons but rebuilding. You can already see the lemonade that's going to come out of hurricane Harvey. When life gives you rotten lemons it's time to change the lemon. If you are in a situation that seems like its never going to end, do something that is going to cause to get a better lemon that you can turn into lemonade.

Does Detox Really Work?

The older I get the harder it seems to keep a steady weight. I have tried several detoxing methods that worked for a little while but didn't last. While detoxing is a fast, easy way to lose weight, it's not always permanent.
In order for any type of detox to work the most important part is what is consumed after. The three different types of detox I have tried are a complete 7 day fast, pills and smoothie.

1. Complete 7 day fast:

I did this at the beginning of the year, to not just detox but for spiritual clarity. I did it on a week when I was off four days out of a five day work week. Being off of work helped me because my co workers eating at their desk, the food that is brought in occasionally for sharing and the smell of the cafeteria food would have made break. I did drink lots of water and herbal tea. The first couple of day were hard. I had stomach cramps and felt weak. The third day I felt refreshed and had energy. I was able to cook for my kids an not be tempted to eat. I had lots of spiritual insight and awareness. I lost a total of thirteen pounds. After the fast I started out eating vegetables only. But then I gradually started back to my bad eating habits and gained all the weight back.

2. The pills:

I don't remember the brand of pills  I took but I didn't like it. I might as well have taken a laxative because that is what it felt like.  My stomach was cramping all the time, running to the restroom and I didn't feel like I was in control of my body. I didn't last on that method therefore I didn't lose any weight.

3. The smoothies:

 The smoothie fast has been the most effective for me. I can do a smoothie for one meal, one day or one week, depending on my need. It gives you the feeling of consuming something without that many calories. All of the nutrients from the fruit and vegetables cleans out your system. It is a good way to not just maintain but lose weight if you're trying to get into that nice outfit for a fancy event.

The book that I used as a guide is Green Smoothies For Life by J. J. Smith. This woman knows what she is talking about. The smoothies are cheap, delicious and easy. I the link to her book and my suggestions for smoothie makers below. I have a bullet that works great for my meal smoothies. For the smoothies I want to last all day I use my blender. I hope this

Chase The Heart, Not The Wallet

Many little girls dream of marrying their "Prince Charming" and living happily after. They dream he is going to be the perfect man and have all of his life in order. What if the perfect mans treats you great but there one thing missing? That one thing is money.

A man who provides is on every majority of women's wish list for a man. They want a man who can take care of himself, you and children if they are in the picture. Women think a man is strong physically and able to work long hours while they take care of the home. Yes, the woman will have her own career if she chooses but it is her choice. What if the man has all the qualities a woman wants but is broke? Is it better to drop him for a man with money but none of the other qualities?

Money comes and goes. The man with money could end up losing his source of income, then what? The woman is stuck with a man who brings nothing to the table and the she is stuck in a bad relationship. He might end up being dead beat dad and husband. She could end up depressed and losing herself because of chasing the wallet.

The man without the money could eventually start a new business and be successful. He could get a get job or a promotion after a few years. He could then tell you to quit your job and be a stay at home mom. He will then be able to invest back into you because he has a good heart. He will take care of you.

When you date a man for their heart and not a superficial reason, it will last longer. The relationship will be more real and will be able to last through anything. When him or you make a mistake it will be easier to forgive each other because the relationship will be deeper then what is on the surface.

One tip when dating a man with a good heart and a dream is to not rush the relationship. Don't let him just talk a good talk. He has to walk it out or at least be in the process of walking it out. For example, he could have a goal of starting his own business or going back to school. If he isn't already enrolled in school or in the process of getting paperwork in order to go, then a red flag should go up. If he isn't in the process of starting his own business life if he wants to start a clothing but doesn't have a design done, a red flag goes up. He should at least be selling t-shirts or something.

I'm not saying that all men with money are bad and all poor men are good. What I am saying is to be open to a man who isn't able to provide for you financially in the beginning of the relationship, especially if that is the only thing you don't like about him. Don't miss out on your blessing of a good man because of money. Chase the heart, not the wallet.

Change Your Perspective To Save Money: 4 Tips

Many of you know, and some of you don't, I live outside of Nashville, TN which is one of the fastest growing cities in the U.S right now. As the city continues to grow, the cost of living goes up, taxes increase, rent and mortgage goes up. It makes it hard for people to live their day to day lives when they are struggling financially. I have put together four tips that have helped my husband and I get through the change. We have a blended family of six children, yes I said six, ages nine through eighteen. We have learned to be very cost efficient. 

1. Give

Huh? Yes one way to save money is to give. How? Three words: tax write off. Depending on the tax bracket you're in and how much you give, it can help reduce how much you owe the IRS. I'm sure many of us would rather give the money to a nice charity then to the government. Plus give and it should be given to you now this shouldn't be your motivation for giving but should free your mind from worry when you do give. You should give at least 10% of your income to a church or charity that you believe in. 

2. Save at least 10% of your income.

 If you make $50,000 a year you should be saving $5000 a year. Your giving will be $5000 a year and you'll have $40000 to live off of. If you set this up automatically with your bank then you will not miss this amount. After five years you'll have $25,000 saved up. Five years may seem long on paper but in reality five years goes by fast. It worth having the discipline to save at least 10% of your paycheck.

3. Learn to bargain shop. 

Some people don't like this because it's embarrassing. I have learned to get over the embarrassment and save money. I will carry my coupon note book in the store in a heart beat. I actually have people who admire me for couponing and have had people ask for advice. I even have had people give me more coupons in the store and I have given some away. It connects us, why not help each other? We are all in the same boat of saving money anyway. Also it isn't as time consuming as people think. I clip coupons while watching a favorite show or movie. You're going to watch television anyway so you might as well do something productive while watching. I also have kids who help cut. They like doing crafts and they like going shopping with me so why not get them involved. It also teaches them how to save money. Don't be ashamed of going thrift shopping. I always find brand new items with tags and all in thrift stores. People buy things without trying things on in the store and when they get home throw it in a pile to be donated. It happens all the time. Their loss is our gain. I have found a purse marked down to $3.00 and didn't realize what I found until I got home. My teenage daughter recognized it. It was clutch purse worth $500.00 by a designer in New York. Shop clearance and be patient. I found two pair of boots at the beginning of spring that were marked down to $10 per pair. The original cost was $50 per pair. The patient part is I have to wait until it gets cold enough to wear them but it will be worth it because I won't have to scramble around to find new boots when it gets cold. 

4. Get rid of what is unnecessary 

If you sit down and make out a budget of what you spend each month you may find some spending you can cut back on. An example is cable, cell phone bills, house and car insurance. Shop around for the best deals in these areas. Bundle what you can, cut down to the bare minimum. Ask yourself if you really need these needs to live. We do this every few months as a married couple and believe me, it helps a lot. 

I hope these tips help to get you started on being more financial savvy. Please give any feed back and suggestions. 

3 Signs He Will Not Make A Good Husband

The number of divorces are rising and with social media on the rise, the dating scene can be very confusing. It seems like no one is looking for long term spousal material but for who ever they fall in love with the fastest. In order to have a long term marriage we have to get back to looking for those long term characteristics in a man. The woman has a right to say no to a marriage proposal if she feels unsure about whether he will make a good husband.

This blog provides 3 basic things to look for to determine if a man will make a good husband.

1. No goals or visions.

 As a wife we are to carry out the vision the husband lays down but if he doesn't have one, what do we do? It is important that a man have a vision for his life that a wife can help him carry out. It could be as simple as owning a family business or living debt free. But a man has to have something instead of blowing in the wind confused. This leads to living pay check to pay check for life. Where there is no vision the people perish. It is hard to have a successful life with out first getting a vision for it and setting goals. A good husband will have something to work toward.

2. Bad family relationships.

A man who doesn't have a good relationship with his mom or other children is not a good. If he doesn't have a good relationship his mother then he isn't going to treat you good. It is a proven that men love and honor their mothers. The mother-son relationship is a sign of how the son will treat his wife in the future.
If the man has other children that he doesn't get along with then he may not make a good husband. His children for some reason don't respect him enough to have a relationship with their dad. He has probably really hurt them or not have been a good example, more than once, in front of them. Remember, it takes a lot for a child to not want to come around their parent. A good husband will have good relationships with his family.

3. No relationship with God or different beliefs.

Having different religious views can be a big hassel in a marriage. The religious view of the household is the foundation of how it is run. If there are two different types of foundations then the house is going to eventually split apart. Having the same beliefs will keep the household as one foundation. If there is ever a disagreement, the foundation will have the final say. Take this into consideration when choosing a spouse. A good husband will have the same foundation as you do.

A Lonely Place

Putting children in a corner to face the wall as punishment is a debate that has confused loving parents for many years. There are benefits to isolation of a child. It calms them down, humbles them, and gives them time to think about what they done. I believe sometimes God puts us in sort of a time out. However, for us as adults it is called a lonely place.

The lonely place, we often feel, sucks, but it is not a bad thing at all. We must learn to embrace the lonely place. As I reflect over my life, every time I was in a lonely place, God was up to something. He would either be protecting me from something or showing me who I am in Him.

I, too have made the mistake of trying to get out of that lonely place before it was time. I did it with men, food, drinking, partying, fake friends and a suicide attempt. I didn't like the lonely feeling. It's not a fun place to be in, especially when looking around and everyone else is having the time of their lives. I regret aborting those lonely places with those temporary things that only led to more grief. This is why I am writing this so that you will not make the same mistake as me. Wait on God.
The lonely places I made it through produced great things in my life. I had visions of writing, my family, my husband. God showed me His promises and who I am in Him. He showed me love. He gave me an identity.

God gave us examples of this in His word. The most important example is Jesus. Yes, Jesus, had to go through isolation before He became the King of Kings. Moses, before he rescued his people from Pharoh, he was alone when God gave him that instruction. He had to leave his familiar place to receive the vision from God.

Yes, it is hard being lonely, but remember it is for a reason. It will be worth it if you stick it out till the end of this process. I pray God gives strength to those who are in a lonely place. Stay focused on the work He is doing inside of you and not on what others are doing outside of you.

Road Closed

Driving to work I passed a sign that said road closed. I kept thinking, I can't wait till that road opens because it is going to be great. It's going to be a short cut but I know it is closed right now for protection. Instead of complaining I started being grateful that the construction were smart enough to put that sign up to help others.

My mind drifted on how God protects us from things. Sometimes God corrects us through other people and tough circumstances. It feels like we are taking the long way around but really God is protecting us because the short cut isn't ready yet.

We don't like correction but it is necessary. Sometimes we want to drive through the road closed sign and go down the dangerous road anyway. But when that happens the road is rough with pot holes that can cause flat tires. We make the situation more costly for ourselves by ignoring the road closed sign.

We must wait on the smooth road to open up for us. This is the way God planned. This is the way He worked hard for us to take. He paved this way for us. Wait on God to direct you down the road you need to go on. His way is safer.

Meditation: Think about things in your life God keep telling Road Closed or may He is telling you road open. This could apply to your job, a relationship, a church, health or maybe just your relationship with Him. Be obedient to the direction God is giving you in these areas.

How To Get To The Finish Line

 

I posted the above scripture on Google Plus a couple of days ago and I am grateful for the comments that were on there. Some the comments were needing more information about running the race of this life.

Running a race makes a person tired, breathless and the feeling of wanting to quit. We must look at the cause of feeling breathless and tired during a race. Are your clothes too heavy? Do you have on the right shoes? Did you take your eyes off of the finish line?

These same questions can be asked in life. What is causing us to get off track? Why am I sick? Why do I feel sad all the time? Why do I never have enough money? When these things come up the race of life get tough to run. Look around you. Evaluate your life. What is throwing you off track? Some of the questions to ask are you keeping a budget? Are you spending too much time watching television? Are you focused on a goal?

Don't just look around you, look inside of you. Do you have unforgiveness in your heart toward someone or maybe yourself? Do you have a giving heart? Do you have faith? Are you focused on the goal of Jesus?

I know that this post is full of questions but I think it is important evaluate our selves often. I believe that there is improvement after the evaluation because of the ah ha moments when we see ourselves. My own personal story a year ago I was struggling to get promoted on my job. I had to go back and look over my work to see what I could correct. I had an ahha moment on what I was doing wrong. I fixed it and couple of months later I got promoted. I kept my eye on the goal, evaluated myself, learned and reached my goal.

The answer to completing any race in life is in the next verse. Hebrews 12:2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 

Fix your eyes on Jesus. He is waiting for you at the finish line. He has water for your thirst. What I am saying is He has all of the answers to your problems, therefore run toward Him.

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How to Be a Strong, Gentle Woman

Is it possible to be strong and gentle at the same time? Yes, it is possible. When lifting weights, you have to be strong and gentle. You are supposed to be able to lift the weight but put it down gently. This combination is important to have not just physically but characteristically.

Being a strong woman does not mean being angry or bitter. Being angry or bitter are character traits that most people do not want to be around. You don't want to push people away with a bad attitude. Being strong is a woman who has endured many obstacles in life. She went through the storms that didn't destroy her completely. She responded to the storms by being down for a little while but rebuilding. When she rebuilt she did so to prepare for the next storm.

Just because a building is prepared for the next storm, does not mean it can't be beautiful and functional. A rebuilt building still opens the doors for people to come in and enjoy it. A woman has to be the same way. Yes, it's great to prepare for the storm but don't be so strong that you shut people out. Be strong but gentle.

The only way to balance being strong but gentle is by the leading of God's word. God is our strength and the result of having God in our hearts is gentleness. Strength is depending on God to hold us up. He is our protector from the storms of life. He makes us strong. He makes us gentle while going through a storm. Don't be angry and bitter but be gentle, still open to give and receive. God will give you the grace to be strong and gentle at the same time.

Prayer: Lord, I pray that you will allow me to be strong to stand against the enemy when He comes to tempt me against your will. I do not want to give in to temptation of anger, I don't want my emotions to control me. Please let your Holy Spirit control me so that the fruit of the spirit will shine through.
In Jesus name, Amen.

My True Love (a poem)

This day is the day my true love arrived.
He was not deprived
but well known to all
Some put up a brick wall
To block His love
Not realizing He was truly from above
I received Him in my life
My life has had some strife
But His love never left me
This love is meant to be
When I wanted to take my own life
He removed the knife
He took me in His arm
and washed me from all harm

The tattoo on my wrist
is a symbol of the risk
He took on the cross
It was not a loss
I gained my soul
because of His soul
This is my true love
He can be yours too

How To Have A Balanced Life As A Single Mother

Everyone on earth knows how tough it is to be a single mom. The women have to be the head of the house, the home, provide and be there for the children in every way. The single mothers barely have time to care for themselves, or at least the good ones do.

As a single mother it is so easy to get focused on the wrong things, I know because I was not only raised by a single mother but I was also a single mother. A women who works 40 hours a week or more, fights traffic morning and night, rushes home to pick the kids up from childcare, cooks dinner, makes sure the kids do the homework and have everything they need. Let's include the kids who play organized sports, there goes any free time the single mother has. Oh my goodness, it can be over whelming, lonely and down right depressing because the single mother just needs a break.
Does the single mother deserve a break? Does she deserve to think of herself?  Yes, of course she does. Everyone needs a break, an out, something to release from the hustle and bustle of life. However the down fall is not keeping the right priorities. The down fall is when the single mother lets loneliness and the "me" factor settle in their hearts. This is dangerous because it effects the children and soon they start raising themselves.

The single mother has to balance taking care of herself and children. If she neglects one over the other then life can be difficult. An example is a single mother who focuses on finding a man to help her taking care of her children instead of her taking care of them herself and letting the man find her. The result could be getting stuck in a bad relationship out of desperation while the kids behave out of control.

The only way for single mothers to keep a balance is stay in God's presence and listen. Pray without stopping then wait for an answer from God. If He doesn't respond keep praying. Throw on your favorite gospel song. Don't be ashamed to talk to God about anything. When I was single I used to pray all the time about being lonely and dating. He already knows our hearts so why not talk to Him about it? As a result, He directed my paths and now I'm married to my husband for 11 years. He will do the same for you if you are obedient to Him.

Put Your Want To Action

Do you want to get well? Of course you do. Do you want to be made whole? Of course you do. Everyone wants to live life to the fullest. Everyone wants the best life they can possibly receive. Everyone wants to be healthy. The next question is, what are you doing about it?

There is nothing wrong with wanting better but wanting and doing are two totally different things. Put your wants to action. Step out on faith. Sometimes to get better, we have to make that first step. For example, there is nothing wrong with wanting a job promotion but put that want into action. Start by finding a mentor in the position you want to go. Dress for the job, especially if it is a leadership position, this is impressive to upper management. Learn what the job position requires then start doing some of those requirements in the current position.

Let's take this a little deeper. What about emotional stability? You can take the first step to becoming emotionally healed. Whether it be emotional trauma from childhood, divorce, abuse, low self-esteem, etc., you can be emotionally healed. The first step is recognizing what is causing the pain. Where did the emotional start? Unfortunately it might take going back down memory lane to a place that was buried because it was so hurtful. If you want to be healed emotionally, dig it up, fix it by getting understanding then forgive those who hurt you.

Taking the first step for healing is demonstrated in the Bible, The amplified version John 5:6-9 talks about a man who was laying by a healing pool sick. In order to receive his healing all he had to was take the first step by getting into the pool. The man was laying there suffering waiting on someone else to to do it for him.  There was a certain man there who had suffered with a deep-seated and lingering disorder for thirty-eight years.

⁶ When Jesus noticed him lying there [helpless], knowing that he had already been a long time in that condition, He said to him, Do you want to become well? [Are you really in earnest about getting well?]

⁷ The invalid answered, Sir, I have nobody when the water is moving to put me into the pool; but while I am trying to come [into it] myself, somebody else steps down ahead of me.

⁸ Jesus said to him, Get up! Pick up your bed (sleeping pad) and walk!

⁹ Instantly the man became well and recovered his strength and picked up his bed and walked. But that happened on the Sabbath 

I say to you that whatever it is you are wanting, take the first step. Have faith that God is there leading you the rest of the way. Take that step toward you healing, being whole. Think about it like this, it is better to take the risk of the first step to being made whole then not moving at all then never being made whole.

Winning While Losing

My energetic, seven year old son plays baseball and this is only his second season of playing. He is naturally talented at playing this sport so he got the the responsible position of catcher. At first he struggled with catching the ball consistently. My husband, being the awesome dad he is, started practicing with him. My son improved tremendously.

The next game we were losing pretty bad as far as the score goes but in spirit we were winning. Almost every member of my sons team was having the game of their life including my son. They batting, running the bases and catching great. My son caught a pop up ball that didn't count but he was celebrating anyhow. We, the parents, were still celebrating the kids.

At the end of the game I realized what God was showing me. He showing me that even though circumstances will sometimes make it seem like we're losing, we are really winning. The Bible says “The righteous see it and rejoice, And all iniquity stops its mouth. Whoever is wise will observe these things, And they will understand the lovingkindness of the LORD.” Psalms 107:42-43 NKJV

The, righteous aka the believers aka us, see God's goodness and rejoice. When we rejoice iniquity stops harassing. Rejoice for all God has done and be so focused on the good that the problems will seem to go away. For example, a person's car can break down and they don't know how they are going to get to work. They tell a friend about their situation and the friend offers them rides or knows someone who has a car they can borrow. The person should rejoice, they don't have car but they still have a way. Just as in my son's game, they were losing but still winning. 

Take a moment to rejoice in the areas you are winning in. Focus on those instead of the areas you are losing in and your problems will not harass you. You will be at peace and before you know it the problem will be resolved. 

Eat Your Veggies Before Dessert

My husband and I exchanges stories on how we learn a lot about ourselves from our children. God uses them to show us how we are. After all, God is our Father in heaven and we are His children.
God used my son the other day at dinner to show me something.

He is a typical six year old boy who loves to eat anything high in sugar. I fixed a delicious dish that my husband, my four daughters and I ate with no problem. A couple of my daughters went back for seconds it was so delicious. My son says he wasn't hungry, nothing was wrong, he was just busy playing with his new legos. It came time for my daughters to eat dessert which was chocolate fudge brownie ice cream. My son suddenly becomes hungry and rightfully ask for dinner but only wanted a little. I fixed him a little bit and he willfully ate a few bites then was full, but ready for dessert. Of course I tell him to finish his dinner then he can have dessert. He thought he was clever by asking for only a little bit of the healthy stuff then go to the yummy stuff when he was ready.

I thought about it for a while and God showed me that is how we are as His children. We want to go straight to the dessert without going through the process of eating the healthy things first. Basically, we want to go straight to God's promises without going through the process of being ready for them. God is not going to give us anything that is going to hurt us. If He gives us our wants before we are ready then it could hurt us more then help us. We must go through the process, which might be uncomfortable, but to prepare us for the good stuff.

Let's get back to my son and his eating desserts. I want to give my son all the desserts his little stomach can hold but is it good for him? No it is not and God feels the same way about the things we want. He knows our hearts. He knows our future. He is our Father and He knows what is best for us. Trust Him and His love for you. Remember to eat your veggies before dessert.

Dealt A Bad Hand

I was playing solitaire one night, chilling. I was getting exciting because everything was falling into place. The right cards were coming down and I was celebrating. I hit the card deck in the corner for the last time but the wrong cards fell. Ugh, I was so disappointed and I quit the game.
As I slammed my phone down on the table saying to myself, 'I'm never playing this stupid again', God spoke to me. He said this is exactly what happens to a lot of us in life. Everything is going great! Our families are healthy, job going good, no drama around.

Then suddenly here comes the bad hand.

The cars start breaking down, a pipe is leaking, lay offs on the job, spouse cheats, kids doing bad in school, a family member gets cancer and your sibling is mad at you. The country is having terrorist attacks. Do you slam the game of life down on the table and say I quit?

It's really tempting to quit when being dealt a bad hand but God tells us to hang in there, many times in His word. God wants us to know He is always there to protect His people. The key words are "His people." Psalms 125:1-2 says, Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be move, but abides forever. As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people, from this time forth and forevermore."

Who are God's people? Those who believe in Him and His Word. Those who trust God always. Those who delight in the Lord. Life deals a bad hand to test the hearts of people to see if they truly trust God. It either draws people closer to God, making them stronger in faith or causes them to quit. Those who stand on their faith in God are not moved and God surrounds them. Their storms are temporary but those who quit or try to solve the problem themselves, cause more issues.

I picked up my phone and played solitaire again, I won the next game. If I had deleted the game from my phone then I would not have had the victory. I'm telling you the same thing, don't quit. Stand and keep trying at the hand of life with God on your side, you will have the victory.

Persevere

Persevere means to push through something no matter how difficult it is to get to success. Difficult situations can be discouraging to the point of wanting to quit. However, persevere until the successful results come.

I often watch the show "Shark Tank" because it is motivating to see people become successful. The thing that majority of the inventors have in common is that their success did not come over night. It took them years to get their product made and to generate sales. One lady said it took her three tries to get on the show. She left the show with a successful deal. What if the lady did not try again after the first "no"? What if the inventors stopped creating after the first thing failed? 

The Bible says in Hebrews 12:1-3 (NIV) Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Jesus had to persevere through sacrificing His life for us. It was not easy for Him but He kept His focus on the joy that was coming after. Because He persevered we have the ability to do the same thing through difficult circumstances. The difficult things will be worth going through to the end. Joy and success will come after persevering.

How To Love An Unseen God

When people are not in front of us all the time, it's easy to forget they exist. An example is family members who are not seen every day, may not get a phone call everyday. This is why social media is so popular because it helps to keep those family members in front of us. It is easier to show love towards those family members now.

It is even more important that we strive to show love to God who sacrificed His son because of the love He has for us. Many of us forget to show that love for God because He is not seen. 

This article is to help us show love to an unseen God. Here are three ways:

1. Spend time with Him 

Let's be honest, there are some family members who we don't want to spend time with. Then there are some who we don't know and spending time with them is not priority. The best way to get to know them is to spend time. 

When we spend time with people we don't know, a relationship grows, then comes love. We can spend time with God to get to know Him and our love for Him will grow. Talking to God, reading the Bible and going to church are the best ways to do this. 

2. Loving others

 God is a loving God who shows forgiveness and grace toward people. How much more should we do that? When we act like Him it is pleasing in His sight. Desiring to please God shows us that we love Him. When we treat others unjustly then it does not show God that we love Him.

3. Behavior

One thing that I teach my kids is that they represent us, my husband and I, because we are their parents. When they are away from us, like school, they are to act like we are there. This shows us that they honor and love us because they want to represent us well.
God feels the same way about us. We are made in God's image which means we are to act like God. Do we make mistakes? Yes but that's why God gives us grace and mercy. However, it is not to be taken advantage of. We shouldn't purposefully do something wrong thinking 'God will forgive me.' Remember God knows our hearts and He may feel it necessary to correct us for our behavior. He is our Father. He corrects us because He loves us and wants the best for us.

The scripture reverence for these three ways is 1 John 4:7-20 New Living Translation. I know this is long but this an awesome revelation. Please read the following scriptures. As you read I pray God reveals to you how you can love Him more through, spending time with Him, loving others and behavior.

⁷ Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. ⁸ But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

 ⁹ God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. ¹⁰ This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.
 ¹¹ Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. ¹² No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.
 ¹³ And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. ¹⁴ Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. ¹⁵ All who declare that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. ¹⁶ We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.
God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. ¹⁷ And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.
 ¹⁸ Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. ¹⁹ We love each other because he loved us first.
 ²⁰ If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? ²¹ And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their fellow believers.

Amen.

3 Steps To Heal From Emotional Pain

Burying pain is not good because it ends up coming up later and sometimes ten times worse. When it comes up it could make a woman feel depressed and ashamed, even to the point of hurting herself or someone else. For example, if a woman was molested during childhood, never get help then her view of herself is distorted. She might think it is her fault she was molested. This will cause her to be depressed and may cause suicide attempts. Taking the blame for something like this can lead to many more bad decisions because the woman does not care about herself. This can lead to bad relationships with men who abuse her physically and mentally.

 A person blaming themselves for things not in their control can develop an addictive nature to numb the pain. They can become addicted to drugs, food, hoarding, laziness and even hurting themselves. They can become addicted to people, especially those that hurt them. 

Whatever the pain is that is causing a person to feel like they deserve more pain, can be healed.

 Follow these steps for deliverance:

 1. PIN-POINT THE ORIGINAL PAIN. 

This will require some reflecting over the life of the person hurting. The person may want to journal some things that happened in childhood. This original pain may be buried in the person's mind. The only way to bring it out is to acknowledge it happened. 

 2. DON'T BLAME YOURSELF, FORGIVE. 

This step is very important. This is the step that can be the hardest for people but can not be skipped. Forgiveness must take place for healing. Forgive yourself means that you don't blame yourself for the pain. Forgiving someone else means they and that situation doesn't have power over you. It frees you from the pain and to allow love in. 

 3. RECEIVE GOD'S LOVE. 

God loves each person to the core. It does not matter what has been done, nothing can separate a person from God's love. He is waiting to receive everyone just the way they are. He will replace pain for peace in the heart of those broken. Only He can give true peace. Going to other sources for peace as mentioned above, will only cause more pain. He just want to love the pain away. 

 Romans 8:35-39 says Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[j] 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

PRAYER TO RECEIVE JESUS IN YOUR HEART: 

Lord, I acknowledge your love for me and I ask you to be Lord over my life. Please forgive me for my sins, known and unknown. I believe that Jesus is God's son. I believe that because He loves me He died and rose on the third day. I believe that He intercedes for God. I pray you will guide my life and heal me from the pain. Please give me the strength to forgive my self and others who cause the pain in my life. Give me joy and peace that surpasses all understanding.Thank you for Your unconditional love. In Jesus name. Amen.

3 Immediate Signs He Isn't Into You

Know if he is really interested in you the first week of meeting.

Many of us females don't like wasting time talking to the wrong person to see if a relationship can grow, especially if you are looking for a serious relationship that can lead up to marriage. It's nice to know the signs within the first week to know if a guy wants your mind or just wants your body. I've have learned from experience the signs to know what a guy is really about.
I teach these to my daughter because she is about to go college. I don't want her to have to learn through trial and error.

1. If he ask to come over and not go out to date.

 The initial first date should not be done at each other's house but in a public location. It should be an atmosphere that talking can be done. Even going to the movie theater on the first date is a no, no unless he takes you eat before or after. You can't talk during the movie and usually it is physical contact during the movie, like hand holding or cuddling. Physical contact without a lot of communication before the first date is not a good sign.

2. If he text more than call. 

Texting is so vague and a lot of communication gets misunderstood because it's hard to know if a person is sincere through texting. When speaking with someone you can hear the tone of their voice for the sincerity of what they are saying. If majority of the time he wants to text then more than likely he doesn't care to be real with his feelings. He also doesn't care about yours. He should have at least two real conversations with you with in a week of meeting. If this doesn't happen, its not a good sign.

3. If he immediately talks about sex. 

If a man starts to talk about getting physical with in the first week, it should be a red flag. If the two conversations he has with are all about sex, than he isn't trying to get to know you better. The conversations should be about and him. He should take interest in what you are interested in, what do you do for a living, are you a Christian, etc. It's okay for him to ask what is your limitations on getting physical, like if he ask do you believe in pre-marital sex. BUT if starts talking about what he would do to you physically, then that's the only he has to offer you.

If you are looking for a serious relationship, set these boundaries for yourself. Don't let loneliness dictate your standards. Hold out for the right one. The right one will respect you for your boundaries and that will attract him even more to you. Don't settle.

How to Push Through the Pain of a Broken Heart

I remember being sixteen years old watching Michael Jordan play the game of his life, sick. It was a very important game in 1997 NBA finals. The series was tied 2-2 and everyone knew that was no way the Bulls could win without Michael Jordan. I remember thinking he has high tolerance for pain or his determination out weighs his pain.
I was looking at the Nashville Predators play in the finals of the NHL and they took some hard hits but I watched how they endured. They kept playing the game like nothing happened. After one fight from the opposing team, I saw one of the players on the Predators skate slow but then less than a minute later he was right back in it.
What makes athletes push themselves pass pain to reach their goal. I started thinking what if we used those same principles when we suffer from pain of a broken heart. Emotional pain is just as real a physical pain and just like physical pain it can be healed. Just like physical pain, it can be pushed through.

How can you push through emotional pain like physical pain?

1. DON'T DWELL ON IT. As the saying goes, mind over muscle. Many athletes who play hurt say they focus on the prize of winning rather than the injury. This is a powerful tool. They will their minds to not focus on the pain. This takes practice, because the pain will fight to be louder than the victory. The mind has the power to fight back if you will it. Disclaimer: when healing from emotional pain don't focus on another negative, like drinking or over eating. Get involved in something positive like volunteering your time, reading more books and getting close to God.

2. KNOW IT WILL PASS. This goes back to the mind but this time requires to not ignore the pain but look past it. This heart break is temporary, if you let it be temporary. When a person focuses on the fact that this is hurt is not forever, it helps to ease the pain.

3. DO IT HURT. Some people have a tendency to shut down when their heart gets broken.
 They tend to slack of on their jobs, family and friends because they stop functioning. This actually makes the broken heart worse because if the job is lost, the person will forever be reminded this happened due to the hurt. Live life hurt because it will pass, which goes back to #2.

4. BELIEVE. Know that God wants you healed and receive His healing. Don't forget God wants doesn't just heal physically but also emotionally. The Bible says "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." God doesn't go back on His word. Focus on this scripture whenever the hurt from a broken heart tries to attack your emotions. Say it out loud that you are healed and the hurt the person caused you no longer has power over you. 

How To Get Rid Of Dark Shadows

Light and darkness can not dwell together. It's a scientific fact. As soon as the a little bit of light comes in a room with darkness, things start to be become visible but a shadow is left. The only way to get rid of darkness is to put an abundance of light in a room.
Why does it have to be an abundance? Many people have dark shadows that follow them around. I was watching a video on Facebook that showed toddlers discovering their shadow. The children were running and screaming because the shadow wouldn't leave them alone. The shadow looked like a dark blob that was out to get them so of course fear set in. Having a shadow follow you around can be scary and annoying. After while we get used to having physical shadows. However spiritual shadows should not be something you get used to having follow you around.
What are spiritual shadows? The dark shadows in your life can be removed. Your shadow can be anything you are suffering from that keeps haunting you; whether it be heartbreak, depression, condemnation, struggling with temptation, a bully, needing more money, not knowing your purpose, whatever your shadow is it can be removed.
Light exposes darkness. The exposure of it gets rid of it. How does exposure get rid of it? It makes you aware of what is dark in your life so you can seek God to get rid of it. For example, if you feel depressed and are not sure what is causing your depression, seek God  for wisdom and understanding, He will help you.
The Bible says, "Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12 ESV. 
The scripture tells what needs to be done to get rid of the dark shadows in your life. You have to choose daily to let Jesus be the light of your life. Don't just choose it once then go back to walking with dark shadows, let Jesus be the light of your life everyday. 
What do I mean by choosing The Light daily? Whenever the dark shadow tries to reappear, shine The Light on it by letting it know that it has no place in your life anymore. You walk with The Light, not darkness, and it has to flee in Jesus name.